Unfiltered

Everything I found was either clinical or relentlessly upbeat. Neither one sounded like what was actually happening in my body.

So this is the other version. Honest writing about desire, sensation and perimenopause, from the middle of it rather than the outside. Start wherever you recognise yourself.

Vintage woman smiling with a pink vibrator beside lollipops and a cocktail, the best vibrators for perimenopause

featured The Best Vibrators for Perimenopause and Menopause (Australia 2026)

I was sitting on my bed one night, reaching for something that had worked for me reliably for years. It felt wrong. Not uncomfortable exactly. Just different in a way...

On Jul 26, 2026 by Martina Baroncelli

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Feeling numb in perimenopause? How sensation comes back

For a long time, I thought numbness meant something in me had switched off for good. It hadn't. It was my nervous system trying to protect me, not punish me....

On Jul 23, 2026 by Martina Baroncelli

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Perimenopause symptoms nobody warns you about

You're 39, or 42, or 44. You're not sleeping properly. You snapped at someone you love this week for a reason you still can't explain. Your period is behaving differently,...

On Jul 23, 2026 by Martina Baroncelli

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Hand holding half a papaya topped with a pink rose against a starry sky, about orgasm changes in perimenopause

Why orgasms feel different in perimenopause

Many women in Australia notice changes in intimacy during midlife. These shifts can be confusing or frustrating, but they are real. If reaching orgasm has become harder during perimenopause, you...

On Jul 08, 2026 by Martina Baroncelli

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Woman in midlife suffering from insomnia

Why you can't sleep in perimenopause, and what helps

Why you can't sleep in perimenopause and what it costs you. Waking at 2 am every night in perimenopause? Here's what's actually happening hormonally, why it's killing your desire, and...

On May 31, 2026 by Martina Baroncelli

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Halved papaya topped with a flower on pink sand dunes, a collage on lubricants for menopause dryness

Best Lubricants for Menopause Dryness: What Actually Works

I noticed it first with a tampon. Just an ordinary Tuesday. Something felt different, drier, a little resistant, and I filed it away as strange and got on with my...

On May 27, 2026 by Martina Baroncelli

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Couples conflict when intimacy changes in perimenopause

How to talk to your partner about desire in perimenopause

How to talk to your partner about desire in perimenopause. When desire changes in perimenopause, the silence is often the hardest part. Here's how to start the conversation without it...

On May 15, 2026 by Martina Baroncelli

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Hands covering a woman's eyes as a planet, butterfly and fish rise from her head, stress and desire in perimenopause

How stress affects desire in perimenopause, and what helps

Why stress kills desire in perimenopause and what your body is doing. Stress doesn't just affect your mood. In perimenopause it directly suppresses desire. Here's what cortisol is doing and...

On May 15, 2026 by Martina Baroncelli

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Plaster bust beside vintage newspaper, flowers and an eye, a collage on HRT and desire in perimenopause

HRT and desire: what I wish someone had told me sooner

HRT and desire in perimenopause: what the research actually says. The 2002 study scared women off HRT for decades. Here's what the evidence actually shows and why the conversation is...

On May 11, 2026 by Martina Baroncelli

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Woman with smoke across her face as hands offer an apple, scissors and a balloon, a collage on responsive desire

Responsive Desire: When Wanting Comes After, Not Before

Spontaneous desire isn't the only kind. Here's what responsive desire actually is, and why not feeling "in the mood" first doesn't mean something's wrong.

On Jan 11, 2026 by Martina Baroncelli

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