Unfiltered

Everything I found was either clinical or relentlessly upbeat. Neither one sounded like what was actually happening in my body.

So this is the other version. Honest writing about desire, sensation and perimenopause, from the middle of it rather than the outside. Start wherever you recognise yourself.

Marble sculpture of an embrace with a pink butterfly, about reconnecting with your body in perimenopause

featured Body Disconnection in Perimenopause: What Finally Helped

For a long time, I felt like a bystander in my own life; disconnected, flat, and almost invisible inside my own skin. Turns out, it wasn’t just stress or getting...

On Oct 05, 2026 by Martina Baroncelli

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Woman looking unsure among a planet, a rose and the moon, about choosing a stimulator in perimenopause

What to Look for in a Stimulator During Perimenopause (And Why Most Products Miss the Mark)

Your body has changed. Most products haven't kept up. Here's what actually matters when you're choosing a stimulator in perimenopause, and why comfort, materials, and emotional context matter more than...

On Oct 05, 2026 by Martina Baroncelli

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Flat illustration of colourful adult toys on a navy background, for a guide to clitoral suction vibrators

The Best Clitoral Suction Vibrators in Australia (2026)

The Best Clitoral Suction Vibrators in Australia (2026) There's a moment most of us have when researching a vibrator online. You open one tab, then another. Fifteen minutes later you've...

On Oct 05, 2026 by Martina Baroncelli

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Do you need to be aroused before using a vibrator?

The vibrator sat in my drawer for four months before I used it a second time. Not because I'd decided against it. Every time I thought about it, something in me said: not now, you're not in the mood; what would even be the point? I was waiting to want it first. The short answer No. And for a lot of us,...

On Oct 05, 2026 by Martina Baroncelli

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Woman in her forties in a quiet kitchen, perimenopause rage and mood changes

Perimenopause rage: why it happens, and why you're still you

You're 39, or 43, or 46. Something small happened this morning. A question asked twice. A cupboard left open. A shoe that wasn't where it was supposed to be. And...

On Sep 18, 2026 by Martina Baroncelli

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Open head with a butterfly, roses and blossoms rising out under a full moon, a collage on what libido means

What is libido, actually? What changes in perimenopause

I was 40 when a friend asked me, gently, if my libido had changed. I didn't answer straight away. Not because I didn't know, but because I realised, standing in...

On Sep 17, 2026 by Martina Baroncelli

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Vintage woman holding a pink vibrator beside lollipops, a donut and cherries, about letting go of sex toy shame

Am I too old for sex toys? Letting go of the shame

I bought my first vibrator with the screen brightness turned down, put it in a drawer, and mostly left it there for two years. Not because of what was in...

On Sep 07, 2026 by Martina Baroncelli

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Vintage woman in a fur stole beside a church, cherries and a flower, about whether you can get Addyi in Australia

Can you get Addyi in Australia? The honest answer

No. But the reason is more interesting than the answer. Addyi is approved for premenopausal women, and the testosterone cream Australia did approve is for postmenopausal women. Perimenopause sits in...

On Sep 06, 2026 by Martina Baroncelli

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Man and woman standing back to back against a red night sky, a sexless marriage in perimenopause

Sexless marriage in perimenopause: what's actually happening

A sexless marriage in menopause isn't a decision or a verdict on your relationship. Here's what's actually happening, and why the silence can be broken.

On Aug 10, 2026 by Martina Baroncelli

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Vintage dancers kicking a planet beside lips, a fish and a pearl, a collage on air pressure vs vibration toys

Air pressure vs vibration: which suits you now?

I remember standing in front of my laptop, comparing two products and feeling silly because I couldn't work out what actually made them different. One page mentioned vibration. Another talked...

On Aug 10, 2026 by Martina Baroncelli

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